Thanks you all for your thoughts. I will be out in the field first thing in the morning flying the female eagle. We all have to go through this at different times in our lives and I have been there before. Time will ease the pain better than anything else can.
You have all my sympathies. Although we are allowed to euthanize our beloved animals to save them from the indignity of a painful death, and I consider this gesture as a last gift we give them, it still is one of the most painful and heartbreaking decision to take. Loosing a dog to disease is difficult enough in itself; Hawk spared you the suffering of taking the decision of ending his life yourself. It may be his last gift to you after all.
Everything I hold in my hands today could be only a memory tomorrow. Carpe Diem.
Yes, it was going to kill me to have to put him down. He didn't appear to be in any pain other than the labored breathing. He would still get up and move around and if anyone came to the door, he was there to greet them. He walked to the back door and my wife opened it, but, she said he looked confused and he passed about 10 minutes later. I wanted him to pass here at the house and not the vets office. He liked the vet, but, he didn't like to go through the doors to the vets office knowing he might get a shot or something. He was born in this house, lived his lfe with his mom until she died and it was fitting for him to be here at the end with those who loved him. Sounds kinda stupid, but, its the way I felt. I was thankful that my wife didn't go to work yesterday and we spent the day making arraingments for Hawk to be cremated. We have our yearly 2 week camping trip planned for Sept 14th and he will be back in the meadows again. Thats where his moms ashes are at also.
"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph." -Thomas Paine
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? -Marianne Williamson